"First date"
First dates are always trouble. There's really no getting around the fact that two new people coming together for the sole purpose of getting to know one another is a delicate situation, potentially rife with awkwardness. But the first step towards a better first date is recognizing this challenge.
It does no one any good to panic, to apply layer after layer of ill-advised cologne, to brush and re-brush your teeth until you're bleeding at the gums. Instead think about the fact that the other person is probably just as nervous as you are – and that no matter what, there will be the occasional awkward moment.
Dating is what it is - two strangers trying to decide if they ever want to see each other ever again. Once you've made your peace with this fact, and found some comfort in the unknown, you've made some excellent progress.
Of course, once you've stopped panicking, the next step is to think about your approach. There's a spectrum of casual versus formal behavior that's at play here, and it can work for you or against you. How did you ask her out? Did you ask her to "go out" or to "hang out"? Where are you taking her? And are you picking her up or are you meeting there?
THE CASUAL APPROACH: You ask her to "hang out" and to "meet up" at a local bar.
Pros: You're not risking much. If the date sucks, you can pretend you just wanted to hang out as buds. You're pals. You can punch each other on the arm and go your separate ways or make plans to hang out with other friends later.
Cons: At the beginning of the night, you may both arrive wondering what the other person intended. And who's supposed to pay for everything?
MORE FORMAL: You ask her to go on a date with you. You pick her up and take her to a nice restaurant. Maybe you bring flowers. (Just ask at any florist for a good "first date" bouquet.)
Pros: Everyone involved in the moment knows the score. You're there to decide whether you want to start something - a fling, a long-term relationship or something in between.
Cons: The pressure-cooker atmosphere may derail the whole night and make you both too nervous to show your true selves. Nothing makes for a worse evening than two hours of awkward conversation and the endless scraping of your fork against your plate.
Each situation brings its own demands. Think about your options and choose what feels right to you. If you're naturally laid-back and would feel incredibly out of place in a fancy restaurant, pick your favorite local bar - if she hates local bars, then you're not meant to be. Or if you're more into making a stylish first impression, go someplace where you can show her your smooth side.
