SAMPLE CHAPTER - "Dating" (1st Date)

"First date"

First dates are always trouble. There's really no getting around the fact that two new people coming together for the sole purpose of getting to know one another is a delicate situation, potentially rife with awkwardness. But the first step towards a better first date is recognizing this challenge.
It does no one any good to panic, to apply layer after layer of ill-advised cologne, to brush and re-brush your teeth until you're bleeding at the gums. Instead think about the fact that the other person is probably just as nervous as you are – and that no matter what, there will be the occasional awkward moment.
Dating is what it is - two strangers trying to decide if they ever want to see each other ever again. Once you've made your peace with this fact, and found some comfort in the unknown, you've made some excellent progress.

Of course, once you've stopped panicking, the next step is to think about your approach. There's a spectrum of casual versus formal behavior that's at play here, and it can work for you or against you. How did you ask her out? Did you ask her to "go out" or to "hang out"? Where are you taking her? And are you picking her up or are you meeting there?

THE CASUAL APPROACH: You ask her to "hang out" and to "meet up" at a local bar.
Pros: You're not risking much. If the date sucks, you can pretend you just wanted to hang out as buds. You're pals. You can punch each other on the arm and go your separate ways or make plans to hang out with other friends later.

Cons: At the beginning of the night, you may both arrive wondering what the other person intended. And who's supposed to pay for everything?

MORE FORMAL: You ask her to go on a date with you. You pick her up and take her to a nice restaurant. Maybe you bring flowers. (Just ask at any florist for a good "first date" bouquet.)
Pros: Everyone involved in the moment knows the score. You're there to decide whether you want to start something - a fling, a long-term relationship or something in between.
Cons: The pressure-cooker atmosphere may derail the whole night and make you both too nervous to show your true selves. Nothing makes for a worse evening than two hours of awkward conversation and the endless scraping of your fork against your plate.

Each situation brings its own demands. Think about your options and choose what feels right to you. If you're naturally laid-back and would feel incredibly out of place in a fancy restaurant, pick your favorite local bar - if she hates local bars, then you're not meant to be. Or if you're more into making a stylish first impression, go someplace where you can show her your smooth side.

SAMPLE CHAPTER - "Dating" (2nd Date)

"Second date"

If you've made it past your first date, you should be relieved. The most uncertain phase is over and the detective work begins for real. Think about the first date went. Was there a lot of warm flirting, or lusty glances and arm-touching? Or did she spend a lot of time avoiding eye contact, adjusting the napkin in her lap or studying paintings on the far wall of the restaurant.
Did you find lots in common to talk about? Or were you struggling to fill the silence and praying your waiter would come over and make small talk about the bread? Did she leave you with the impression that she wanted to see you again, or were you pretty sure she'd rather get her wisdom teeth pulled than see you again?

If you think the date went well enough that you have a chance at a second date, wait a full 48 hours and then call her. If you call her immediately, she might take it as a sign that you're desperate, over-eager and probably unwanted by the rest of humanity. (And you may be.)

Instead, you've got Things to Do. That's right. Your social calendar is FULL and you have to wait a couple of days before you even have time to pick up your phone. But when you do call, let it out - make sure she knows what a great time you had.

Use this second-date phone call to continue your detective work. Does she sound happy to hear from you? Does she sound completely apathetic or does she start going on and on about what a great time she had, too? If you get her voicemail, leave her a message but don't ask her out in the actual message. That would leave her with a lot of time to perfectly craft a response, which will make your phone call less useful for investigative purposes.

If she's willing to go out with you again, now's the time to really get to know each other as human beings and not awkward first-date robots. Pick an activity where you can be yourself. Now is the time to mix it up.

If you went out on the town last time, try a night of sitting around eating huge slices of pizza and people-watching under the stars. Or if you slummed it at the local bar, take her to a place where she won't get beer sloshed on her this time.

Show her that you're a well-rounded individual with lots of interests and she, if she's lucky, might just become one of those interests.

SAMPLE CHAPTER - "Romance versus Sex"

"Romance versus Sex"

Some people say you shouldn't be too forward with women; that one or both of you should be "playing hard to get." In reality, it's a delicate balance. If you're playing too hard to get, she might think you're just not interested. If you're complimenting her right and left, she might think you're faking it.

The key is to strike the right tone – throw in a compliment every now and then, but don't make it so obvious that you're falling all over yourself. If you think she's attractive, smart, funny, etc., feel free to tell her. Just don't use every other sentence to mention that you love her eyes, her thighs, etc.

Romance and sex must co-exist – each builds to complement the other. In fact, in a perfect world, you should be so romantically interested in your partner that you both move seamlessly towards nights of more and more intimacy until sex seems like the most natural thing in the world.

Unfortunately, we don't always live in a perfect world, and sex can make matters more complicated than they otherwise would be.

We've all heard of the "walk of shame"? That's the journey a guy makes the morning after a one-night stand, wearing what he wore last night, hair all messed up and scraggly, as he goes from his ladyfriend's apartment back to his own. It usually happens right after a conversation that's full of awkwardness and people grabbing at their clothing.

This situation can be avoided entirely if both people involved wait until they genuinely want to have sex with each other instead of just caving in to make-out urges after tons of drinking. Beer goggles are not a myth. People do look more attractive when you're drunk.

So instead of getting sloshed on dates one and two, go slow enough that you're sure you like each other as humans. Build the romance first to make sure there are no regrets the next day.

Of course it is essential to practice safe sex. There is no worse transgression of good behavior than communicating a sexually transmitted disease.

SAMPLE CHAPTER - "Elegance Under Pressure"

"Elegance Under Pressure"

In order to consider our next subject, we offer two separate definitions of the word "elegant." Here is the common understanding of the term:
Elegant: demonstrating style and sophistication in appearance and behavior.

We're going to merge this idea with the mathematical definition:
Elegant: combining simplicity, authority and superior design.

"Elegance" in science or math refers to a concept so powerful and elementary that it almost defies description – the concept may have even been overlooked due to its simplicity. In our world of social interaction, we strive for this fundamental quality of behavior – manners so ingrained that they become seamless, superior and simple.
If this is the case, then our goal must be not just to embrace excellent manners as our mission but also to apply those manners in every situation and circumstance. In short, excellent manners do us no good if we throw them away under stress.
In order to define our behavior during difficult situations, let's examine some situations of stress.

Book Expo 2007!

Count "Bereolaesque" In! We finalized our exhibit today for Book Expo 2007! See ya in NY!
www.bookexpoamerica.com

Bereola The Bachelor Has Been Beheaded!

This is without a doubt the final draft for the cover. Quite bereolaesque isn't it? We decided to go the headless route to convey the message that anyone can be bereolaesque, just insert yourself why don't cha!

Preliminary Proposed Covers

Want to help in our final decision? Email us which cover gives more aesthetic pleasure, TOP COVER or BOTTOM COVER. Please direct emails to info@demarchegroup.com

Thanks guys.